Rundown of Happenings

Here are some of the things I have been up to lately:

Spent Christmas day with the Dittons. I love them dearly and am so grateful for their open hearts.

Saw both halves of my family over the break. Some things never change :)

Spring semester began. Procrastination kicked in. It's going to be a fun rest of the semester...

Work is work.

I let letters from missionaries pile up on my desk to the point where I had a letter from each missionary to respond to! Cannot let that happen again. Barely have enough time to write one at a time, let alone six!! I love those men dearly and they deserve better from me.

Attended Slipper and the Rose! Sat by dearest Debbie Ditton! They put on a great show and I was so happy to see her and Katie :) Love them dearly.

My lovely roommates made sure I felt included and loved on Valentine's Day by getting me flowers and candy :) They are beautiful women full of love.

Went on a blind date! Thanks to Trevor. I got a new friend out of it, thus it was a success! Oodles of fun too :)

I helped plan an Institute Choir activity and shared my testimony to all who came. Another blessed opportunity from the Lord!

Participated in a flashmob! Institute choirs performed a song flashmob style at Religion in Life yesterday :) I hope we were able to be instruments in the Lord's hands and His Spirit carried our song to the hearts of those who needed it. "A Marvelous Work" is a beautiful piece and I felt the truth of its message in my heart.

Those are a few of the more noteworthy activities I have been up to. Most of them blessings from the Lord :) Thank you Lord :)

Blessings

I have been doing a lot of pondering as of late. Here is the result of said pondering:

There are times when I ask Heavenly Father "Why is this happening? Why am I going through this experience?" I really do not understand sometimes why I am given certain trials. It is usually when I am overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness and missing the young man who changed my life. Well, one of them in particular. I have come to realize though, due to the kindness and mercy of the Lord in answering my anguished pleas for understanding, that there is a greater purpose at work. There always is.

I met an absolutely splendid, beautiful young man before his mission and he changed my life. I asked the Lord "Why did I meet him before his mission? Why? Can you not see that I miss him terribly and it pains me that he is gone?" I have asked these questions for months. However, it was not until now that I was able to receive an answer. I knew deep down in my heart why, but sometimes it takes some work to get to listening to what you know. This morning I woke up and I knew that the Lord did not take this young man away. He blessed each of us with a most beautiful opportunity: to grow, to progress in Him. Missions take guys and turn them into men when they have true desire and pure hearts. I have learned and grown so much in the time that he has been on his mission... It amazes me all the time. The Lord blessed us with this time to become more of the man and woman we are capable of being. Timing is everything. If I am blessed with the opportunity to marry this young man after he returns home, then I will be even more grateful than I already am to the Lord for allowing me the countless opportunities to come to know myself, to know Him, to trust Him, to build my faith in Him.

He knows us perfectly. He knows what we need in each and every moment of our lives. This trial, no matter what the outcome is, has already forever changed me. I will be eternally grateful for this opportunity to grow. I know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers. I know He answers them. He knows my heart and knows exactly what I need. He knows my desires, my hopes, my dreams. He knows me perfectly. It is because of this knowledge that I trust Him. He knows what is best and all things will happen in their proper times, His time. I hope I can recognize and take advantage of every opportunity he provides for me. I choose to follow Him. I miss my young man, but I know that he is learning and growing in beautiful ways. I know that he is helping the Lord in this great and marvelous work! The gospel is true. The Book of Mormon is true. It is another testament of Christ. It holds the answers to all of life's questions, if only we take the time and search for those answers. I love my Heavenly Father and I love my Savior, my Redeemer, Jesus Christ. I am never alone.

And neither are you. Turn to Him. He is there, always waiting, always willing. Turn to Him. Amen.

Thanksgiving Blessings

This Thanksgiving, due to work issues and telling my mom to stay with her family for it, I needed a home and a family. The Lord decided to shower blessings upon me in the form of Joseph Ditton's family. They happily shared their Thanksgiving day with me and fed me! Seriously, I have never had a better Thanksgiving in my life... The love they have for each other, especially his parents... It blew me away. His sister, Katie, shared oodles of baby pictures of darling Joseph :) Best pictures ever. He has not changed a bit! Well, his head and ears are more proportional to his body rather than being huge, he is taller and filled out, but his personality, his spirit is still the same. Full of love and happiness. That was amazing to see :) His family just accepted me as one of their own that day, and I will forever be grateful to them for sharing a special day with me. For showing me what a family can be when it is centered in the gospel and love. I absolutely loved every minute of it and I hope to spend more time with them in the future!

Here is what I put as my facebook status the other day: I love feeling the Spirit touch my heart as I say my prayers, read the scriptures, and truly stop to listen for his influence :)

Best feeling ever :) One of them anyway :)

Minor Miracle

When I say minor miracle, I mean a minor miracle. It is this: I am actually updating this blog!! See, I told you, minor :)

What isn't minor is the lovely happenings in my life! I know, exactly what you want to hear right now? With finals for most of you who read this coming up and the stress is mounting and here I am being all happy and optimistic! Well, maybe I can cheer you up. If not, come find me and I will for sure. At least try. Everyone needs to smile and laugh every once in a while.

I don't even know where to begin... How about with the fact that on October 30th, I spoke at the Institute Choirs' Musical Missionary Fireside!!! The most humbling experience of my life. To be asked to speak at a missionary fireside, where members and nonmembers alike will be listening to what I say, to what I bear testimony of... They asked that we speak with someone who was involved with our conversion, I asked Katie. We spoke simply, but truthfully. I know that many there felt the Spirit that was with us as we spoke, for they told me so afterwards. It is only by the Lord's strength and spirit that we were able to share the message that we did. I did a lot of praying that day and the days leading up to it. My prayers were answered :) It was a great evening full of the spirit. The other converts spoke well, and the choirs sang beautifully. I couldn't help but to feel that there were two young men in particular that normally would have been singing up there with them, but they are spending their time serving the Lord on their missions :) I am so grateful for the opportunity I was given that night to share my testimony and story. It strengthened my faith and testimony immensely.

I have decided to join Institute choir next semester! The non-auditioned one of course :) I miss singing. What better scenario could I possibly sing in than one that praises the Lord? :) I'm terribly excited!

School is... school. Work is... work.

Are you ready for the best part of my life, other than church life of course? Dearest Elder Ditton has written me back! Actually, a lot has happened between us, but the most important thing is that we love and respect each other completely :) He loves me, I love him, and we are both so very proud of each other for serving the Lord in the ways we are right now. I am focusing on learning as much as I can about the gospel and church; He is serving a mission. We are both drawing nearer to our Heavenly Father and to our Savior. We are drawing nearer to each other through our letters. It is terribly sweet :) We tell each other funny stories. Well, I tell him funny stories and he hints at stories... Must get him to actually tell me what has been happening since he has been in LA! But he always reminds me that he loves his mission and that he loves me :) I can't be too upset can I? I miss him more than anything in the world, but I know that he is starting to become the man he is meant to be through serving the Lord and I couldn't be happier or more proud of him!!

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The gospel is true. If I take the time to remember why I am here, where I come from, and my full potential, I know that my Savior Jesus Christ loves me and my Father in Heaven loves me. I know that I can always pray to Him and I will receive strength, peace, comfort, and answers in the Lord's time. He is always with me. I am so grateful, so very grateful to know these things.

I love 17 Miracles. One of my all time favorite movies. I cry every time.

Oh! I spent a lovely afternoon with Joseph's mom, Debbie, on Wednesday! She is an absolutely splendid woman!! She is hilarious and spiritual all at the same time and I love her for it. She was helping me with my personal progress (which I have started doing and hope to have done by the time Joseph gets home). Can't wait to tell dear Joseph about this one! Especially the fact that I got to see his furry sweet dog, Annie :) Love that puppy! She is adorable! So is his family :) I am grateful that his mom agreed to help me out, came and picked me up, spent two hours with me, and talked with me about a variety of great things :) She is great!

I have been thinking a lot about faith. And the different opportunities I have had in the Church since the summer. I feel as though the Lord is preparing me for something, but I don't know what. We shall see. I have also been thinking about I know nothing about being a wife or mother, two roles I know I will have someday in the future. To be honest, it frightens me a bit. There is so much responsibility that comes with them and we must become so selfless and patient... I know the Lord would not have me become these things if He did not think I could do it, but it's still something that makes me nervous. In this, I know I will have to rely on the Lord's strength and strengthen my faith in Him. Joseph admitted that he also doesn't know a thing about marriage, children, families, careers or anything like that. When he wrote this to me, it gave me great comfort to know that I'm not the only one :) I think everyone feels like this though when it comes to marriage. It's kind of a huge decision and leap of faith that you make with someone you love. All I know is that if we come to the Lord with our troubled minds, ask Him what would be best for us, and really strive to ponder it out in our own minds, He will guide us and be with us. Must remember that one.

There are a few life updates! Here's a scripture! Moroni 10:32 :) Love you all :)

Nestled in a Corner

I literally just nestled myself into a corner of my couch :) My new(ish) couch. I am a week into the my sophomore year of college, living in Merrill with my lovely roommates: Ari, Hannah, Betsy, and Kayla :) I have officially made it through week one of fall semester. I'm not too stressed yet, but there is potential for it to occur because I have a lot to keep track of for my different classes. BUT! I will continue to pray and keep up my spiritual self and that will definitely keep me going. I have trust and faith in the Lord and I know He will look after me as long as I'm making an effort in all the things I know I need to be doing. It's so very comforting to know this :)

So... This past little while has been excellent and difficult all at the same time. It's been excellent in the fact that I have developed many close friendships with a number of Joseph's best friends and my coworkers and my roommates. They have been enormous blessing in my life because they have been so thoughtful and so accepting of me. Thank you Brad, Chantelle, Michelle, Katriel, my lovely roommates, and my other lovely friends :) I am so grateful to have you in my life. You don't even know how much of a help you are to me throughout my days. Brad, you get a special shout out just because you deal with me everyday and always say exactly what I need to hear, even if I don't want to hear it. You are an invaluable friend. I know why you and Joseph are best friends :)

Speaking of Joseph... Yes, of course I'm going to talk about my lovely missionary man because he still is one of the most important people in my life. I still am totally crazy about him :) It's been nearly 8 weeks since he left... This is where my life gets hard, being away from him. I miss him terribly, but I would NEVER want him to come home before he is meant to and his service to the Lord has formally ended. He is growing so much and I can't wait to see him grow throughout his mission. His leaving really motivated me to really work on developing my spiritual self and focus on becoming the best version of myself as I can be at this point in my life. I'm loving it :) I'm taking three Institute classes that I love and really working on different aspects of myself that could use some improvement. Right now my focus is on selflessness. I realized during my last week with Joseph how incredibly selfish I could be and I was utterly disgusted with myself, thus I made the decision to really work on that aspect of my life. I never want Joseph or anyone else to see me that self absorbed and narrow sighted again. It won't do me any good, especially when I get married (yes, hopefully it will be to a certain young man currently on a mission; we can't know that for sure yet, but we both hope it will be so when he gets back because we love and respect each other so very much). That's my current goal other than doing well in all my educational pursuits, spiritually and worldly.

Have you ever said something and realized it feels slightly weird to say just because it's newer thing in your life and you can't believe it happened? That's how I feel sometimes when I talk about Joseph and I. I honestly can't believe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful, talented, dedicated, spiritual young man in my life who loves me and wants the absolute best for me, even if that means leaving me to serve a mission because that is the best possible thing for the both of us. He is utterly amazing. I am doing all I can to keep him focused and spiritually uplifted through my letters to him, because that is what I want to do and what he needs from me during this time. Do I tell him I love him and miss him in each letter? Yes. Do I dwell on those feelings in my letters? No. Do I tell him in each letter how unbelievably proud of him I am and that I completely believe in all that he is doing and becoming? Yes. Between these things: his letters, and constant prayer and faith in the Lord and in what Joseph and I have and could have in the future, I am so at peace and so happy. It's truly amazing the power of simply trusting yourself, your decisions, and trusting that the Lord will guide you as you are living the Gospel as righteously and true as possible. Everything becomes clearer and seeing the eternal perspective of things becomes easier. The power of prayer plays a monumental part as well because it is simply that: powerful. The Lord listens, knows what we need, and will do all He can to bring us peace, comfort, and happiness as long as we are willing to listen to His spirit and trust in him completely.

I didn't mean to necessarily go quite in this direction, sharing my testimony, but there it is. I know that this church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is true. I know that the Gospel and the teachings of all prophets are true. It is so full of love and goodness and mercy and happiness, how could it not be true? I am a Latter Day Saint, and I am proud to say so :) I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sunday Love

This past Sunday, I gave my first talk in Sacrament :) It was utterly amazing being able to do that. I received the topic of charity the Sunday before and my first thought was "Yes! Something easy!" I tried to prepare an actual talk, but I knew that I needed to share my story because it could convey everything I could not. I had the thought occur to me around the time Joseph left that I could speak in Sacrament and that I could share my story during it. Since then, I have been waiting for someone in my Bishopric to ask me to speak.

The morning of, after sort of failing to come up with anything really more than my story, I had dozens of butterflies fluttering around in my tummy. I felt a little awkward sitting up in front of everyone especially because the two young men speaking with me sat behind me. Bridger spoke first and his talk was splendid. We were all assigned the topic of service and charity. Then it was my turn. I got up and started to say some of the things I had prepared, but I threw those out the window and just went with my story and what I felt... I let the Spirit guide me :) It was dead silent while I was speaking and I could feel the Spirit so strongly there with me. It was amazing. I almost lost it at parts, but I wanted so desperately for those in my ward to understand how the essence of the gospel and of charity is the pure of Christ, our Savior. That love saved me. The love of my friends and those around me gave me strength and the needed push to do everything to accept the gospel and to know its truth.

My goal was to touch one heart that day. I succeeded, based on the oodles of compliments given to me by the members of my ward. Kellen, my new FHE group leader with Katie, spoke after I did, even though Bridger and I took most of the time, but his talk was just as touching and full of the Spirit. Our Second Counselor came up to us afterwards and said that it was one of those Sacrament meetings that needed to be broadcast to everyone in every language :) It was a truly beautiful experience and I made a couple new friends, such as Kellen :) Now everyone knows who I am in my ward... Not sure how I feel about that one, but I am so proud of myself for being able to speak in Sacrament!

I do however wish that Joseph could have been there to see me speak, but I will get to tell him all about it in my next letter because I just received letter number 4 today from him :) I miss him. But he is doing the greatest thing in the world right now :) Sharing the pure love of Christ by serving a mission :)

Letters and Love

I love letters :) Received letter #3 from dearest Joseph Ditton today and it was full of kicks and giggles! Love that guy!! Letters always make my day :)

I love missionaries. I love missionaries that send me great letters and pictures. I love missionary stories :)

I love shoes. Only sometimes. Preferably when someone else is paying for them or I get them at a discount :) Yes, I purchased 3 pairs of shoes, a pack of socks, 2 pairs of half socks for flats, a hat and rain & stain guard today. Thank goodness for employee discounts :)

I love the temple. It's beautiful and inspiring, even if you are simply passing by on a bike.

I love that I now have a current temple recommend :)

I love Patriarchal Blessings :) Full of hope and possibility.

I love that I was asked to give a talk on charity in Sacrament next Sunday... Yes, I'm actually excited about this :)

I love my darling friends who put up with my oddness and with whom I go on exciting night walk/hikes. Lots of laughter at my expense occurs but it's great :)

I love my family :) Every last member.

I love praying. I love just conversing with my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I love the blessings they shower upon us. I love the Eternal Plan of Hope. I love the Atonement. I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am proud to say I am a member :)

Today was a good day :)